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SPC-3284-J - Lava Sharks
Mobile Fist Team Sigma-6 ("Flaming Fists of Fury") are to be included in all 3284-related operations.
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SCP-078-J - Cooties
Although the properties of SCP-078-J are not fully understood, it is well known for causing various cases of yuckiness, bad smells, and immediate death.
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SCP-5040-J - Stripèd Gangs
"Major Mime-11 has been lost, and with him nearly the entire North American supply of white gloves and black berets."
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SCP-2558-J - Pufferkittens
Several varieties have been observed, including long-haired, hypoallergenic, grenade (see Addendum), and bouncy.
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SCP-3333-J - Angsty Teenage Plant
SCP-3333-J apparently grows better when listening to songs by My Chemical Romance. It is allowed to do so as long as the volume is set to a reasonable level.
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SCP-123-J - Amazing Butter-like Substance!
When informed that the substance is not organic butter, subjects typically report disbelief.
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SCP-106-J - The Barbecue Man
SCP-106-J is capable of vanishing into stoves or ovens, entering what seems to be a kind of “cookout dimension”.
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SCP-19316-J - Improper Terminology
Evelyn's pork chops are to be kept in a sealed plastic container in the 5th Floor Break Room's refrigerator.
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SCP-9119-J - Horrid Little Gustav
SCP-9119-J is to be lockey-locked away in a standard Bad Little Hideous Person Cage for all of eternity.
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SCP-543-J - Tweedle Beetles
In the event of an XK-Tweetle-Beetle-Battle-Breaching-Bottle Situation, MTF Epsilon-11 ("Nine-Tailed Fox in Socks") will be deployed to recontain all specimens…
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SCP-K9-J-EX - The Haunted House
Further investigation would be performed into SCP-K9-J-1's properties, but it's a GH-GH-GHOOOOOOST!
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SCP-1992 - Hype Train
It is theorized SCP-1992-J-1 will only preemptively manifest to represent media that are met with a largely negative reaction upon release.
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SCP-50-AE-J - The Deagle
Investigations into the further properties of SCP-50-AE-1 have been stymied by the fact that SCP-50-AE-1 continues to attack Foundation scientists, calling them "PINKO F*CKS".
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SCP-007-J - Unidentified Muffin Creature
Whilst unobserved by Officer Blake, SCP-007-J… disappeared by unknown means, leaving only a residue of unknown properties on Officer Blake's lips.
![Let Me Cure Her, Daddy [SCP-049-J]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec85e2d4c483c5e7cb97193/1677119261460-R75MV2BQS75OGD4EIM7H/Joke+Series+%28website%29+%282023+update%29.png)
Let Me Cure Her, Daddy [SCP-049-J]
Beneath the rays of the last functional ceiling light stood a hideous thing that could only be described as a bird-faced ragdoll, gripping a sharp stick.
![Boiled, Scrambled, and Fried [SCP-049-J]](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5ec85e2d4c483c5e7cb97193/1677119261460-R75MV2BQS75OGD4EIM7H/Joke+Series+%28website%29+%282023+update%29.png)
Boiled, Scrambled, and Fried [SCP-049-J]
There was nothing noticeably off about the plague doctor except for the strange stomach pains.
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SCP-063-J - Non-Euclidean Geometries
Attempts to characterise the shape of SCP-063-J while empty… are ongoing but have been described as "frustrating" and "pointless".